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Parenting Without Punishment

How to Stop Running Your Home Like a Corrections Facility and Start Leading Your Children Peacefully & Authentically

The ongoing cultural narrative has suggested that punitive acts against children are necessary for raising respectful, successful children. The belief is that punishment "teaches kids a lesson" and results in the child becoming a better person.

Punishments can't possibly achieve this outcome, though. Children who are punished, especially on a routine basis, feel angry, disconnected, and overly concerned with their own wellbeing rather than the wellbeing of others.

Punishment blocks the development of a strong moral compass because it defines the wrong standard for behavior. Rather than teaching children to empathize with others and find win-win outcomes, the punishment model asks children to think mostly about themselves and what might be done to them if they make choices that an authority figure disapproves of.

Time and time again, we see children who are punished become more cunning. In situations where a child feels they can "get away with" a certain behavior, they choose to act less ethically. Children who are punished also tend to be more secretive. They're afraid to take responsibility for things they've done due to fear of retribution. Even if what they've done is an accident, they are incentivized to hide or lie if they fear they will be punished.

In terms of connection, punishment-based parenting creates an "us vs them" relationship with your children. It sabotages your parental influence, often leading to full-on rebellion during the teenage years (the classic outcome you've witnessed or heard about so many times).

Worst of all, you don't enjoy punishing your child and you likely see that punishment has a poor track record for effectiveness. You only continue to use punishment because you don't know of an alternative approach.

All of this can change with a few tweaks to your parenting toolbox.

The first thing that happens when you end the punishment paradigm in your household is that your relationship with your child begins to improve. Rather than playing against your child, you are finally playing on the same team.

This alone is not always a positive step in the right direction, though. It's only an ingredient to success. Most parents who try to transition away from punishment strategies without guidance become permissive. They fail to provide healthy boundaries and limits and this does result in negative outcomes.

In "Parenting Without Punishment," Kevin Geary, founder of RevolutionaryParent.com and host of Revolutionary Parent Radio, will provide you with the insight, tools, and strategies required to parent effectively, confidently, and authentically without the use of punishment and without falling tragically into permissiveness.

Which household would you rather build?

  • One based on respect or one based on obedience? Do you want children who do the right thing because they want to and choose to, or because they're forced to? True respect is powerful because it means you have influence even when you're not around. Obedience is temporary and requires your presence at all times. Contrary to popular belief, punishment does not create respect, it sabotages it.
  • One based on conditional love or one based on unconditional love? Kids need to feel that they are loved at all times, no matter what. When children are punished and feel they are an opponent of their parents, they start to believe that their parents' love is conditional. You may not intend for this to happen, but that doesn't stop it from happening.
  • One based on cooperative strategies or one based on power-over strategies? You can surely get everything you want as a parent by using your size and strength and power to your advantage. However, it won't be without a fight. Power-over strategies like punishment create endless power struggles and children who are wholly unwilling to cooperate. This creates a vicious cycle because parents often double down on punishment and further break the parent-child connection.
  • One that's proactive or one that's reactive? Do you parent based on what seems best at the time? Do you try to exercise patience and then blow up at your kids when you reach the boiling point? That doesn't have to be the way forward. It's time to parent with intention. It's time to parent with principles, a clear strategy, and consistency. It's time to give your child real tools and leadership that will pay massive dividends going forward, creating a relationship that gets easier to manage as time goes on rather than exponentially more difficult (which is the norm).
  • One that treats children like human beings or one that treats children like pets? Punishment is a holdover from operant conditioning. That's the basis for the "training" used on animals. Even the father of operant conditioning, B.F. Skinner, alluded to unintended consequences in humans: "A person who has been punished is not less inclined to behave in a given way; at best, he learns how to avoid punishment." Raising children like pets is not the way forward. Children must be treated like capable human beings in order to become capable human beings.

The opportunity to create massive positive change in your household is available to you. But, as the leader of your household, it's up to you to decide that the shift is going to happen.

Every day that passes is another day that your children are subjected to failed strategies carried over from past generations. Let us help you ditch your old toolbox. Your children deserve better and you deserve better.


Your Instructor


Kevin Geary
Kevin Geary

Kevin is the founder of RevolutionaryParent.com, author of "Without a Fight," and the host of Revolutionary Parent Radio. As a teacher for over 15 years, he has a deep level of experience working in trenches with kids aged 3 to 17. Kevin made the transition from authoritarian to authenticity early on and spent over a decade honing the skills he teaches today. He currently lives in Atlanta with his two daughters.


Frequently Asked Questions


Why is the price discounted?
This is a three part course. The two main educational parts (Part 1 and Part 2) are fully available. Part 3 is for helping you with implementation, but we need YOUR help to build it. It's going to include scripts, case studies, etc. and we want those to come from real people like you. We will be building this section WITH you, and when it's finished the course price will increase to full price. So, you get a discount for helping us and working with us.
How much time will this course take?
The course has been designed with busy parents in mind. There is no fluff in this course. You also don't have to finish the entire course before you start implementing strategies and tactics. You can go at your own pace, even if you only have a chance to do one module every few days, and you'll still make great progress.
I'm afraid that without punishment my children will be unruly and disrespectful. How will that not happen?
Punishment does not create better human beings. At best, it creates obedient human beings who have lost their individuality, empowerment, and will. At worst, it creates rebels who act in opposition to you at all costs. Authentic parenting is about raising children who willfully do the right thing, even when nobody is watching. It's about raising wonderful human beings instead of compliant human beings who simply act out of fear of what might happen to them if they act otherwise.
If I get rid of punishment, what do I replace it with?
Great question. This course isn't just about *not* doing something. We provide you with a powerful framework for what to do instead! We're going to clearly outline for you what your parenting toolbox should look like and then help you sharpen those tools and put them to use in the real world.
Is this course self-paced?
Yes, it's a completely self-paced, on-demand course. As soon as you complete a module, you can access the next one.
How long do I have access to the course?
How does lifetime access sound? After enrolling, you have unlimited access to this course for as long as you like - across any and all devices you own.
What if I am unhappy with the course?
We would never want you to be unhappy! If you are unsatisfied with your purchase, contact us in the first 30 days and we will give you a full refund. If you are participating in the pre-sale campaign, your 30-day guarantee will start from the day the course is officially released!

***LIMITED TIME DISCOUNT OPPORTUNITY - REGULAR COURSE PRICE IS $97***

Part 3 of this course contains scripts, case studies, and other modules to help with implementation and personalization. We don't want to use made-up scripts and scenarios for this. We want the questions and scenarios we use as examples to come from real parents like you!

So, in exchange for your participation with the completion of Part 3, we're offering a discount that will only be available until Part 3 is complete! You will also get the benefit of having YOUR personal questions/scenarios addressed by Kevin.

Get started now!