The ongoing cultural narrative has suggested that punitive acts against children are necessary for raising respectful, successful children. The belief is that punishment "teaches kids a lesson" and results in the child becoming a better person.
Punishments can't possibly achieve this outcome, though. Children who are punished, especially on a routine basis, feel angry, disconnected, and overly concerned with their own wellbeing rather than the wellbeing of others.
Punishment blocks the development of a strong moral compass because it defines the wrong standard for behavior. Rather than teaching children to empathize with others and find win-win outcomes, the punishment model asks children to think mostly about themselves and what might be done to them if they make choices that an authority figure disapproves of.
Time and time again, we see children who are punished become more cunning. In situations where a child feels they can "get away with" a certain behavior, they choose to act less ethically. Children who are punished also tend to be more secretive. They're afraid to take responsibility for things they've done due to fear of retribution. Even if what they've done is an accident, they are incentivized to hide or lie if they fear they will be punished.
In terms of connection, punishment-based parenting creates an "us vs them" relationship with your children. It sabotages your parental influence, often leading to full-on rebellion during the teenage years (the classic outcome you've witnessed or heard about so many times).
Worst of all, you don't enjoy punishing your child and you likely see that punishment has a poor track record for effectiveness. You only continue to use punishment because you don't know of an alternative approach.
The first thing that happens when you end the punishment paradigm in your household is that your relationship with your child begins to improve. Rather than playing against your child, you are finally playing on the same team.
This alone is not always a positive step in the right direction, though. It's only an ingredient to success. Most parents who try to transition away from punishment strategies without guidance become permissive. They fail to provide healthy boundaries and limits and this does result in negative outcomes.
In "Parenting Without Punishment," Kevin Geary, founder of RevolutionaryParent.com and host of Revolutionary Parent Radio, will provide you with the insight, tools, and strategies required to parent effectively, confidently, and authentically without the use of punishment and without falling tragically into permissiveness.
The opportunity to create massive positive change in your household is available to you. But, as the leader of your household, it's up to you to decide that the shift is going to happen.
Every day that passes is another day that your children are subjected to failed strategies carried over from past generations. Let us help you ditch your old toolbox. Your children deserve better and you deserve better.
Kevin is the founder of RevolutionaryParent.com, author of "Without a Fight," and the host of Revolutionary Parent Radio. As a teacher for over 15 years, he has a deep level of experience working in trenches with kids aged 3 to 17. Kevin made the transition from authoritarian to authenticity early on and spent over a decade honing the skills he teaches today. He currently lives in Atlanta with his two daughters.
***LIMITED TIME DISCOUNT OPPORTUNITY - REGULAR COURSE PRICE IS $97***
Part 3 of this course contains scripts, case studies, and other modules to help with implementation and personalization. We don't want to use made-up scripts and scenarios for this. We want the questions and scenarios we use as examples to come from real parents like you!
So, in exchange for your participation with the completion of Part 3, we're offering a discount that will only be available until Part 3 is complete! You will also get the benefit of having YOUR personal questions/scenarios addressed by Kevin.